October 31, 2003
Chris suffers from Maple Syrup Urine Disease
This is my friend Chris. I have known Chris since 2nd grade - even before I knew what Pancake Rage was. Ironically, Chill has a very unfortunate disease of his own known as Maple Syrup Urine Disease. Maple Syrup Urine Disease causes one's urine to thicken, which, as you can imagine, makes the act of peeing slow and painfull. Victims of this disease also have no testicles and very small penises.
And, just like me, Chill has one of the worst known cases of his disease. It is so bad that Chris really has no penis at all- more like a tiny nub, or even a pimple.
Regardless, when I met Chris we were just children, and things like that didn't matter. Sure, Chris had trials of his own throughout school. Most of the other kids would make fun of Chris- laughing, taunting, and calling him "nub boy". Even in high school, girls would walk by whispering "is it in yet?"
Through the years Chris and I have attended many different support groups in our quest to cope with our individual diseases. It was through this process that Chris and I have formed a bond of friendship that will last a lifetime.
You can visit Chris’s page here.
October 30, 2003
Kellie has a dead body in her trunk.
Now, this is just a theory, mind you. I can't actually prove that there is a dead body in Kellie's trunk. And, in reality, I believe that there is a good chance that there are SEVERAL dead bodies in Kellie's trunk.
The reason that I say this is simple. Last night Kellie and I were at at Hooters, eating wings and looking at, uh....drinking beer and talking (that's what guys do at Hooters). Kellie mentioned that she couldn't really drink because she had to pick her daughter up in an hour or so. Me, being the kind of guy (helpful) that I am, suggested that Kellie could drink all that she wanted to, because, after all, her daughter Kayla would easily fit into the nice, safe, and comfortable trunk of Kellie's really old car (the green booger). All of a sudden Kellie gets really serious and says "Oh, I couldn't do that. Kayla wouldn't fit, there is no room." Confused, I ask, no room, what do you mean no room, the green booger will accommodate at least 6 or 7 people in that trunk... "Well, ah, I can't tell you, but the ah trunk is full, and there is no, ah, room."
Now, long story short this conversation went off and on like this for a while- with the end result being that obviously SOMETHING was in the trunk, and that I wasn't going to be allowed to see it. I tell you, Kellie is THE most blunt and straight-forward person(bless her sharp little soul) that I know, and for her to go all evasive on me about such a simple question proves only one thing for sure. Kellie has a dead body (or bodies) in her trunk.
"If men had multiple orgasms women would have at least one every time." -Sue D.
October 29, 2003
Whip me with a wet noodle! It works!
Lets see, 3 web hosts, 30 days, and lots of bunnies later, we have a "final" home for pancakerage.com!!!! Yeeeeaaaa! (For me. Not you. You can't have any.)
Test Image 2
That one looked funny- lets try another one...
October 28, 2003
"I've never been more happy to see a pile of crap in my life then now." -Jeff Corwin
October 09, 2003
Brother Steve
This is Steve. Steve is by far the smoothest guy that I know. Suave. Debonair. Slick as shit. They can all be used to describe Brother Steve.
Steve can walk into a crowded room, spend five minutes, and have all the most attractive ladies crowded around him. Seriously, it is amazing. I sometimes go out with him just to bask in the waves of women that he leaves churning behind him.
Point of fact- one time we were all in this bar, and steve walks up to what was by far the hottesest chick there and says, without missing a beat, "Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?" I kid you not. Now, where you or I would get smacked down for such a statement, Brother Steve captured the attention of the hottie. They laughed, joked, talked. It was grand. Well, for him, not for me.
Another time, steve walks around a party, lifting up his shirt and introducing people to "quato", his, uhm, stomach. To this day, thousands of New Englanders love, hate, and worship quato. It is, for us, a religion.
Steve is not my actual brother- though he is my mentor. I envy, admire, and look to him for guidance every single day of my life.
October 08, 2003
"I wasn't kidding about the Pegasus flying horse. It really doesn't exist. I know, I know, I was bummed, too." -DWR
October 07, 2003
"Sacred cows make the tastiest hamburgers." -Stupid Evil Bastard
October 06, 2003
"I have something in my pants for you that's hard...to get at." -DWR
(While trying to pay back a co-worker 50 cents)
October 05, 2003
"I am just a figment of my own imagination." -David Raynes
October 04, 2003
Tree suffers from his brother Scott's homosexuality.
Tree is another one of my closest personal friends that I have known for a really really long time. Unfortunately Tree has spent most of his life traumatized and sexually confused by his brothers homosexuality. Don't get me wrong. Tree is still a great guy. Funny, a great lover to women in their 60's, and a true friend.
Tree is one of the funnest guys around, and if it weren't for Scott's homosexuality, Tree would probably be a sane, stable, and highly desirable mate for all you lady's out there.
"Bunnies are pretty cool. They hop around and stuff, eating other animals, and don't forget the ears. Bunnies have huge ears." -DWR
October 03, 2003
October 02, 2003
October 01, 2003
Pancake Rage - My Story
As most visitors to my site know I suffer from Pancake Rage, a disease with which I have lived with for the majority of my life.
I have always been considered "overly angry". I have had a lifetime filled with rage and have always wondered why others seemed to be able to take things so calmly. Why, throughout my life others were so calm, while I was always angry, raging, and just not quite like everyone else. I would have "spells" of depression, inability to think clearly, absolute rage, and then, "spells" of feeling quite fine and very much calm.
Medical, professional, and personal opinions seemed to keep pointing to the rage itself as the cause of these "bad spells". It was easy to have it all explained away because, on the surface, it made sense. Didn't the "bad spells" come on about the same time as the rage first started? Sure, they did. So, doctor after doctor I was told to take a pill and live with it. Which I did- for years.
Had I known then what I know now, I could have had a very different life. Perhaps one where I had been considered "like everyone else". Maybe one that began years ago instead of settling for life beginning at 25. I’m angry that I have lost so much time.
I have the disease Pancake Rage. Defined by Webster's Dictionary as “a violent and uncontrollable anger that is usually incited by eating pancakes.” In my instance, I have the worst case of Pancake Rage that any of my doctors can find- just seeing them, hearing about them, and even just things associated with them can trigger my rage.
There is no known cure fore Pancake Rage. This is a sickness that I must face for the rest of my life.
The only thing that my doctors have been able to do is to help me and my family learn to cope with my disease. If it weren’t for my Mom, I don’t know how I would make it through this illness of mine.
Throughout this site you will find bits and pieces of my everyday life, along with information on the disease Pancake Rage. This is my attempt to cope.
LEGAL DISCLAIMER
No warranties, actual or implied, are made as to the accuracy, completeness, or currency of any of the information contained in this site. This site may contain material of an offending nature and visitors assume all risks of use. Hell, I may down right tell little white lies. (There is no free carrot for voting in the polls.) Any liabilities for the damages resulting from the use of the information contained therein are disclaimed.
THIS SITE IS NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR PHYSICIAN TREATMENT AND EVALUATION OF THE DISEASE PANCAKE RAGE.
Users are advised to seek the advice of their physicians. The author shall have no liability for any loss or damage caused in whole or in part- either by its negligence, your stupidity or by circumstances beyond its control (again, your stupidity) in the procuring, collecting, interpreting, compiling, communicating, or delivering the information contained in this site and accompanying replies.
Some of the pictures, text, amd files found in this site are extracted from various reference texts, articles, the Internet and other locations, including most of this disclaimer. All rights reserved by the respective publishers and owners.
Any comments and suggestions are welcomed. After all, that's the point, isn't it?